Pulphouse #10, February/March 2021
“Paintings of Cats by Mice” by Annie Reed
“Flat Bernie Saves Stanley” by Johanna Rothman
“The Conjurer of the Canvas” by Phillip McCollum
“Custard: A Romeo & Juliet Story (Sort of)” by Dayle A. Dermatis
“Sometimes, Grandma’s Gotta Cut a Bitch” by Leah R. Cutter
“Blind Eclipse” by Rob Vagle
“Would Sir Prefer the 1918 Influenza” by Robert Jeschonek
“The Developmental Adventures of Phil” by Jason A. Adams
“Visage” by Lisa Silverthorne
“Used to be Your Victim” by Stephen Couch
“The Artist, the Engineer, and the Sleeping Dog” by Robert J. McCarter
“Drumbeats” by Kevin J. Anderson and Neil Peart (reprint, not reviewed)
“Just Write!” by James Gotaas
“Role of a Lifetime” by David H. Hendrickson
“Sergei’s Swan Song” by C. A. Rowland
“Vamp Until Doomsday” by Stefon Mears
Reviewed by Kevin P Hallett
The February/March 2021 issue of Pulphouse has fifteen first publication stories and one that was previously published. All the stories were interesting.
“Paintings of Cats by Mice” by Annie Reed
Whiskers paints the cat that terrorizes his family in this short fantasy. The one detail he cannot get is the cat’s evil eyes; after all, it’s nearly always fatal when a mouse sees a cat’s eyes. And when a half chance comes, he takes it.
In the same house, the human family’s son is also an artist, employing a frenetic method that uses both his hands and punk rock music. His art is underappreciated until one day, his hands mysteriously paint a mouse. At first, he is horrified by the apparition, but his father encourages him. Only years later does he discover the source of the inspiration that transformed him into a famous artist.
This was a fascinating tale that was more fanciful than speculative.
“Flat Bernie Saves Stanley” by Johanna Rothman
This short fantasy explores the world of Stanley, a writer who unknowingly gets his inspiration from a picture of Flat Bernie drawn by his daughter when she was three. But Flat Bernie is locked in a journal that Stanley no longer wants to use. And so long as the book remains closed, Flat Bernie cannot help Stanley, whose writing has now declined steeply.
This was an unusual snippet of a tale that had little to say.
“The Conjurer of the Canvas” by Phillip McCollum
The army’s general looks to the artist to paint a victorious scene in this short fantasy. The right oil painting will win the battle. But the conjurer of the canvas needs more violet to create the right blood-red. And so the battle begins to turn against them until the artist devises an unexpected solution.
The story was barely longer than flash fiction. Still, it was a nice story with a twisted ending.
“Custard: A Romeo & Juliet Story (Sort of)” by Dayle A. Dermatis
Two Scottish brownies share the name Custard in this short fantasy. Sharing a name would be no concern for humans, but it is tantamount to war between each brownie’s clan. The only problem is the two Custards fall in love.
The young brownie girl and boy care not for their clan’s mindless rivalries. They only care for their love of each other and making the best custard in Dumfries. Finally, a chance comes to escape the family bitterness and extend the fame of brownie custard.
The light and airy prose was a pleasure to read.
“Sometimes, Grandma’s Gotta Cut a Bitch” by Leah R. Cutter
A grandmother runs a credit union in this SF short set in the future. Her bank limits itself to lending to people engaged in crafting, be that quilting or knitting. Just so long as it pleases her eye. And when a man warns her not to lend money to his younger brother, it raises her natural inclination to do the opposite; or as she likes to say to “cut a bitch” on the obnoxious man.
The problem is that the younger brother is not talented at crafting. In fact, the weaving he shows her is hideous. Should the grandmother follow her natural contrarian urges or follow her credit approval rules. In the end, the younger brother helps her make a decision.
This was a curious and somewhat quirky story that read a little slow in places.
“Blind Eclipse” by Rob Vagle
This short fantasy takes place in the golden age of cinema. Chuck is a blind theatre owner enamored with the stories about Stella, an actress too beautiful to be captured in a still picture.
Chuck books Stella to appear in person during the showing of her latest film. He is excited and waits to meet the actress with the compelling voice. When Stella appears, he hears the gasps from the audience as they marvel at her beauty. But he must wait his turn to meet her.
This morsel of a story read well as it ran to its mostly predictable ending.
“Would Sir Prefer the 1918 Influenza” by Robert Jeschonek
Ariel is a diseasist in this SF short set in the next century. She engineers new microbes to simulate a specific disease or combination of illnesses. And she is good, recognized as the very best in her field. But all her success does not insulate her from thinking she is past her best and incapable of creating an artistic masterpiece.
Ariel completes her latest infection for the annual Affliction Open when her assistant steals it. Ariel is close to giving up on both the contest and her career when someone from her earliest days visits and brings new inspiration. But she only has one night before the contest deadline.
This was a different view of the future, though the plot was a little too obvious at times.
“The Developmental Adventures of Phil” by Jason A. Adams
This short fantasy happens in the place where authors find their story’s characters. Phil has been waiting forever; with no personality, and any successful writer rightly eschews him. He doesn’t even have a last name or a face.
He has hopes, of course – who doesn’t. And it’s hard not to resent the characters with a role to play. Even a bawdy bit-part in Friday the 13th, Part 37 is better than the plastic chairs in the waiting room. Then he hears a call for Phil Mullins, and he has a last name finally.
This was a weird tale that was strangely endearing.
“Visage” by Lisa Silverthorne
Benedict is a frustrated sculptor in this horror short set in Georgian London. He also dabbles in necromancy for profit.
When the young love-interest of a Duke’s son drowns in the Thames, it is a chance to practice his dark skills, provided he can persuade the Dukes’s son to do his nefarious part. The dead woman is beautiful, and Benedict hopes to break out of his cycle of doing mundane busts of rich and ugly people. Maybe another statue like Michelangelo’s David.
Silverthorne’s story read fast, keeping the reader in suspense as to the protagonist’s ultimate goal.
“Used to be Your Victim” by Stephen Couch
A non-person is setting up his shop in this SF short set in the future. He is a clone with no name and has decided to create an entertainment spot that displays and plays recordings of distress calls.
He must keep his true identity concealed as the prejudice against clones is widespread. And besides, who could ever fathom the true reason he plays those recordings.
This was a short and easy-to-read story.
“The Artist, the Engineer, and the Sleeping Dog” by Robert J. McCarter
When Gus is sleeping, his astral form can see what humans need in this short fantasy. And Gus’s human needs some jumble in his highly-ordered engineer’s life. And so astral-Gus waits for a chance to help his reluctant human.
He found his opportunity in a grocery store and easily engineered a chance encounter and brief touch with a chaotic artist in need of some order in her life. Neither human understood just what had happened as they continued their separate lives, but each had acquired a little of the other, and sometimes a connecting thread becomes a string, and maybe a rope.
This was a fascinating multi-character-centric story. And despite a few typos, it was charming until the end.
“Just Write!” by James Gotaas
Suffering from writer’s block, an author seeks help in this short science fiction story. After trying all the stock remedies without success, he turns to an unusual claim on a website. Two weeks later, he receives a little green pill that will solve his dilemma. Or maybe it creates a whole new set of problems.
The story was slow as if teasing out a simple subject. And the story’s moral has been pushed since the time of the Ancient Greeks.
“Role of a Lifetime” by David H. Hendrickson
Edward has portrayed grieving men throughout his moderately successful acting career in this short fantasy. Now he must mourn for real after Myra, his wife and true friend of the last fifty-seven years, dies of cancer. After the funeral and Edward is alone in their apartment, the distraught actor has no idea how he can continue.
He begins to play with and even wear her favorite clothes, finding himself closer to Myra. The compulsion grows when he starts to use her lipstick and makeup. At every step deeper, he is closer to her spirit and eschews all human contact. But eventually, the medical personnel come around and demand to see him; how can he explain his actions?
This was an interesting story dealing with grief and the spirit left behind when we die. However, its speculative elements were light.
“Sergei’s Swan Song” by C. A. Rowland
This short fantasy portrays Sergei, a classical virtuoso violinist who is indebted to a demon for his talents. Food can no longer sustain him, and he must exist on the audience’s applause alone. But the appreciation of the classics has waned over the years, and Sergei’s body is fast fading away.
Now the demon demands that he pass on his talents to a new artist. Should Sergei choose his granddaughter, who has talent but no love for her always absent grandfather? Or an unrelated boy who is his most talented student? The demon warns him that time has run out, and each choice has brutal consequences. Then the spirit makes him a different offer.
Rowland has crafted a curious variation of the Faustian bargain. Nicely written, though.
“Vamp Until Doomsday” by Stefon Mears
The Steak and Sauce is a karaoke bar for the damned in this horror short. And Jase is the Billy Joel wannabe playing the piano for the ghoulish singers. It’s not a bad gig, Jase thinks. At least until a biker from hell comes in one night and jumps the Karaoke line.
As Jase plays the biker’s song, he sees images of death that chill him. He wants to quit right there, but his boss tells him to keep playing for all their lives. Each biker who enters is worse than the previous one, and by the fourth, Jase is a mess. He decides to play a song he swore never to play.
The plot was well-paced and noteworthy, with a tongue-in-cheek feel to the prose.