The Town Drunk, Sept. 21-Oct. 19, 2006

Note: This post was imported from an old content-management system, so please excuse any inconsistencies in formatting.

"It Could Happen" by Tina Connolly
"Cat Futures" by Lawrence M. Schoen
"Graveyard Shift" by Lucy A. Snyder

In "It Could Happen" by Tina Connolly, Chuck Greene is a hugely successful horror writer and a deeply unsuccessful human being.  His marriage is in tatters, he owes his success to a spectacularly ill-advised deal with a demon, and his wife is a successful, respected author.  Chuck’s had enough.  Chuck wants more.  Chuck is about to become the hero of his own story.  Chuck is in more trouble than he can possibly imagine.

Connolly’s prose is assured, calm, and dryly funny.  Chuck Greene is a deeply unpleasant man not because of any monstrous character flaw, but because he wants what we all want: success, respectability, happiness— all without having to work for it.  Of course, the fact that he wants to be respected so he can stick it to his ex-wife doesn’t help matters. 

Connolly’s character work may be well observed, but it’s the pacing that impresses here.  Chuck buries himself ever deeper into trouble and never realizes it until it’s too late.  Connolly knows exactly when to shut off the humor and replace it with horror, and the final few lines drive home exactly how much trouble Chuck’s in and exactly how much he deserves it.  Smart, assured, and wry, this is a great story about a man who writes terrible ones.  Recommended.

Cat fiction is a contender for the most overused sub-genre of SF and fantasy.  However, Lawrence M. Schoen proves that you can play a different game with old toys—specifically, magnetic fridge letters—in "Cat Futures."

Steven and Amy have just started dating when Amy tells Steven her cat can foretell the future.  He, understandably, isn’t quite sure what to believe, but she’s adamant:  Mr. Buttons can see the future, and he wants to talk to Steven.

Done with a hint of whimsy, this would collapse in on itself, but Schoen’s delivery is a deadpan, matter of fact voice that hovers on the border between humor and incredulity. It ensures that the reader’s reactions are in line with the character’s, and there’s a moment of absolute empathy when Steven and Mr. Buttons meet for the first time that has to be read to be believed. 

Schoen has a nice ear for dialogue, a dry sense of humor, and an absolute grasp of fantasy logic.  Playing out like an urban myth (I hesitate to use the phrase shaggy cat story), this is an immensely enjoyable, short piece that lingers in the mind long after it’s finished.  Recommended.

The true face of horror?  Human Resources.  "Graveyard Shift" is Lucy A. Snyder‘s whip-smart and darkly funny take on the latest hot employee group, the dead.  Consisting of four news stories, each connects together to portray a world where death is no longer the barrier it once was, and you can put your heart into your work even after it stops beating.

The first deals with the increase in Cybermancy, explaining that necrotechnologies have enabled major companies to begin employing the dead.  Snyder has a good eye for company names and O’Burgers in particular sounds wince-inducingly familiar. 

The second story explains how resurrection not only keeps families together, but also ensures that the dead pay off their debts.  You may not be able to take it with you, but you can damn well work it off after you’re gone.  There are some great touches here, hinting that many of the returned are less than happy with their new "living" arrangements. 

The third story examines the problems faced by corporate vampires as the undead make their most logical career move since dropping their capes and move into the boardroom.  Interspersed with touching stories of Olaf Wurgerov, a German vampire ostracized before learning to cover up his smell, this again shows a nice combination of social commentary and horror. 

This trend continues with the fourth story which reveals that many living workers are becoming "cryptos," impersonating the dead to get ahead in their career. Laced with jet-black humor, this is a great story and a great world to read about, if not live in.  Just remember, the next time you get cold called, the person on the other end may not have a pulse…