Diabolical Plots #110, April 2024

“Ten Easy Steps To Destroying Your Enemies This Arbor Day” by Rachael K. Jones

“Six-Month Assessment on Miracle Fresh” by Anne Liberton

Reviewed by David Wesley Hill

The April issue of Diabolical Plots, unfortunately, opens with a pointless bit of whimsy, “Ten Easy Steps To Destroying Your Enemies This Arbor Day” by Rachael K. Jones, which purports to be an instructional listicle for a wannabe Bond villain. There’s not much to say about the story except it’s not as amusing as it tries to be—unless you’re a serious cat lover. I’m not.

The second “story” of the month, “Six-Month Assessment on Miracle Fresh” by Anne Liberton, presents itself as an internal corporate report about Spirits & Co.’s leading product, “Miracle Fresh”—a “burgundy soft drink” blessed with “droplets of blood from our devoted Messiah.” How this special ingredient is sourced is never discussed in the report, which instead elaborates matter-of-factly on the impact the drink has on the population of Brasilia. I suspect this is supposed to be dry humor, but nothing about the story is funny, and I didn’t crack even one wry smile while reading it… This reviewer went thirsty.